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South Shields premier political blog

Researchers in twin discovery

with 6 comments

Gordon BrownTwo discoveries of twin faces
Researchers in Germany have uncovered a secret within one of ancient Egypt’s most treasured artworks – the bust of Nefertiti has two faces.

The findings, published in the monthly journal Radiology, are the first to show that the stone core of the statue is a highly detailed sculpture of the queen, Mr Huppertz said.

“Until we did this scan, how deep the stucco was and whether a second face was underneath it was unknown,” he said. “The hypothesis was that the stone underneath was just a support.”

Meanwhile undercover police operating from Gold Control in a secret underground bunker close to the Excel Centre in London’s Royal Docks area, which will host tomorrow’s G20 summit, have revealed that extensive investigations of video footage of the Prime Minister’s public speeches over the past six months have yielded previously undisclosed secrets.

Chief Superintendent Dave Digger of the Metropolitan Police confirmed that the team are taking their work seriously and are on the verge of issuing a national security warning, and they would be obliged under current legislation to ask the Met. Police Commissioner to advise Home Secretary Jacqui “Jackboot” Smith to put the porn films away, stop beating Mr. Timney, and jack up the national security threat level to “imminent”.

Chief Superintendent Digger told reporters:

“We have discovered that the Prime Minister has two faces, and we are convinced that he is in fact a cyborg controlled from outside of our borders. We would like to take him in for questioning and analysis but it is proving difficult at the moment. We have managed to analyse a number of his public speeches over the past few months and our sophisticated video enhancing software strongly suggests that he is not human at all.”

When pressed Digger added:

“We need to have a close look at the situation, and that may require the second home secretary to grant us the full 45 days, or whatever the whack is at the moment, we are extremely concerned at the Prime Mentalist’s state and are convinced that his operating software has been compromised by the Conficker Worm which is due to spread pandemonium and consternation throughout the western world on April 1st. We think he is being controlled by a Chinese Botnet”

A botnet is a network of compromised computers controlled by back door software which connects with servers in far away countries and allows outsiders to operate your machine. Experts are now scratching their heads wondering whether this is the reason why Cyborg Brown sold the nation’s gold reserves inexplicably, destroyed the value of millions of private pensions, and went on a spending spree with £ trillions of other people’s cash, at the same time taxation was cranked up to painful levels and effectively around 5 million Britons find themselves out of work and at risk of staying that way as the Prime Minister attempts to get world leaders to do the same damage to their own economies.

Digger concluded his press conference by warning protesters not to get too close to the Prime Minister over the next two day:

“We have thousands of armed policemen on the streets of London ready for any trouble that may occur with this two faced, single headed, one eyed, cyborg, we have informed our colleagues in the CIA to be particularly wary and not to take any chances with President Obama’s security”.

The public in South Shields are advised that their safety is secure and they are not to worry, the Cyborg Brown is unlikely to visit any constituencies remotely considered as safe for the Labour Party and he has no intention of getting close to David Miliband.

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Written by curly

April 1, 2009 at 12:54 pm

6 Responses

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  1. Excellent!

    The Lakelander

    April 1, 2009 at 1:53 pm

  2. i love it 🙂


    April 1, 2009 at 3:23 pm

  3. Funny as fuck that Curly, dare not let them see it in the office though ha, ha.

    Do you know much about pings?


    April 1, 2009 at 6:45 pm

    • In what respect? Pinging a machine or creating a ling via a ping?


      April 2, 2009 at 5:09 pm

  4. No I meant when you link to someone, isn’t it supposed to show on the other blog, I mean like twice I’ve linked to the mental fucking Monkey here and here, and nothing shows, like WTF!


    April 3, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    • I see what you mean now, and I’ve had a look at your blog too! It is certainly true with WordPress (I cannot remember exactly how Blogger works with pings) that pings or trackbacks from other blogs show up as comments. These comments can be edited or deleted in WordPress, and it looks as though Mr. Monkey has deleted any references to your linkbacks, or pings. You have become another victim of the arbitrary censorship of those who follow behind the Independent Alliance cause around here Ginger.


      April 5, 2009 at 10:16 am

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