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Posts Tagged ‘Health police

Eating makes you fat!

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Benn's Balti menu

Health police launch attack on food

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Yes folks Hilary Benn and Labour’s “health police ” are on the march again as the nanny state establishes a new “Healthy Food Code of Practice” that will ask all restaurants and fast food outlets to clearly label the amount of sugar and fat in unhealthy meals. Not only will they give manufacturers the excuse to score more profit by reducing the amount of crisps in the packet but they’ve even managed to link in the global warming crisis too – ingenious!

They’ll tell us to eat less meat, go vegetarian, and keep a slop bucket in the kitchen, we’ll start digging for victory campaigns in poorly used public parks and become a nation of turnip growers again.

All because Mr. Benn presumably thinks we are all thick and we don’t realise that eating makes us fat!

God save us from the nanny state.

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Written by curly

January 5, 2010 at 9:29 am

Credit Crunchie

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Credit Crunchie

Further measure for govts. to raise taxes

Well why not? As the economic downturn turfs millions out of work, as Gordon’s spend and borrow policies ensure that the revival is delayed, govt. tax receipts are going to take a hammering!

The health police may as well help out by suggesting new and innovative ways to help the socialist tax gatherers, but doctor, why stop at chocolate? Why not tax chips, potatoes, rice, sausages, mince, mints, milk, curries, doner kebabs, cakes, biscuits, sugar, eggs, and pasta too?

Then, when our feeding has been forced by the taxation system and we are all 8st striplings, the NHS will need only half as much cash because we’ll all be fit and healthy and heart disease will have been eradicated, obesity will be something only seen in history books, and doctors can be retrained to make widgits in factories. South Shields District Hospital may as well be closed down and the land sold for a new public body initiative, after all, we’ll be fit enough to go to a new regional centre in Newcastle. Of course there will be no savings at all by doing this, because there will be an ever increasing amount of pensioners to pay for!

Utopia, great isn’t it?

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Written by curly

March 12, 2009 at 10:14 am

Posted in Bloopers, food, Health, News, sarcasm, Satire, Taxes

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